The fourth question for the Kaospilot Oresund outpost comes from Laurie Meadoff.

“How do the cultural clashes between the traditional Indian culture and the emergence of technology such as text messaging and internet dating effect romantic relationships in India?”

My answer:

Although new technology is quickly reaching many Indians, I feel that the effects of this on the romantic life of the citizens are not evident yet. In ten years it will be interesting to see what has happened. The people I have met that have ready access to mobile phones and Internet use this technology much the same way as I do at home. Flirting through text messages and visiting dating sites are things that well to-do Indians I’ve spoken to enjoy.

One group in India for which internet dating has been useful is homosexuals. Much same-sex dating starts through different online communities.

From what I can gather from the web, internet dating has in some ways replaced a matchmakers traditional role within some religious communities. Dating sites let’s one check the compatibility of a potential spouse before meeting the person, which is the same service a matchmaker provides. However, the extensive use of internet dating as matchmaking seems to be by people who live in the western countries but keep their traditional religious ways. NRIs, Non-resident Indians, are the most prolific internet daters.

One thing that I find even more tantalizing than the effects the new technology has on romantic relationshops, is the effect I think it might have on communication between the sexes in general. To my western eyes, it seems like the divide between men and women in India is quite wide, among the not so educated population. (Educated Indians I’ve met are not different from westerners in this respect and communication between the sexes isn’t a problem) It seems to me that men and women never have the chance to get to know each other. I believe this could be one of the reasons that many Indian men act so strangely towards the women on our team. (They shout obscenities, leer and grab their crotches, etc.)

My theory is that this isn’t due to sexual frustration per se. but rather due to an alienation that comes from never getting into a deeper conversation with a woman. Keeping men and women separate in a culture like this is most likely meant to make sure that sexuality is kept in check, but I think it might be a counter-productive plan. By telling people to not think about sex, you really make them think of nothing else. If you never get the opportunity to meet the other sex in a non-erotic way, you can always just think of them as sexual objects, rather than human beings. Dialouge between the sexes will, I believe, promote gender equality and respect for each other.

I think new technology will help that dialouge to come about.